Okay, I shall blog now. :x Sorry I've been lazy. It's not something easy to be cured.

So I actually decided to apply for NUS FASS. It's a decision I considered for a long time, but I decided to just try and pursue what I was meant to do in the past and forget all the future risks. I miss the days when I could write poems, compose song lyrics and just write on the impulse of inspiration. It's something that I haven't got for these few years in my poly. Something I want back.

Inspiration. What's life without it? Mine would be meaningless, I don't know about you. The one good thing about poly life is that it has made me open to perspective. Now I know what I think isn't always right, and what others think isn't definitely wrong. It's about perspective, and putting ourselves in others' shoes. However, that doesn't mean my principles are compromised in any way. I still stand by what I believe, even if the rest of the growing ups think it isn't important. And I believe success is self-measured, not defined by what others say and think about me. Opinions.

So right, the above paragraph is another reason why I should study writing again. All my thoughts are cluttered and phrased but not in a sensible structure. Sometimes I do wish I took General Paper.

Since I figured I want to write, next I would have to decide what I want to write about and what I don't want to write about. For starters, I really dislike business writing of all forms. Business prides too much on professionalism which isn't in sync with my dictionary. It's something I feel as very fake, very biased, very hypocritical. Not something I like. That's just me. Aquarius are humanitarians at the finest, most original and purest. :) (http://www.astrostyle.com/Life/Career/career_aquarius.htm) In my opinion, professionalism is about originality and integrity, which all the business lecturers and tutors at TP haven't shown me, except maybe the one that says bad jokes. Point proven. It could be argued as that these are individual characteristics, but I strongly believe industry forge their own workers' forces. It's my mismatch, and not someone I want to become. There's a Chinese saying along the lines of "Merchants and businessmen are despicable." I know enough to trust Chinese sayings like this. xD

But, I don't know what I want to write, which is why FASS is a good choice because I get to experiment first. If I don't do well or can't cope, at least I tried. At least it isn't something I don't like. At least it's an experience. Also, many other expertise could be studied elsewhere other than university. Arts, however; and the horizons of it, cannot.

This is a risky road, since poly doesn't train or equip me with very arts skills. And I'm not used to failing or doing badly. So I must do well. Motivation, I hope you find me useful. If my talent for arts diminished as I grew up, I suppose I could develop it again? It's more like finding back something I lost. After all, we can't really lose something that's in us, can we? It's more of getting lost, confused and hidden away somewhere safe.

If all else fails, at least writing essays are not what I dislike, as compared to writing reports. I can finally express, or learn to. Just try. Even if it really doesn't work out, at least it's a tried route and there will always be opened doors for new things again. Right?

Awkwardly enough, this reminds me of how I wrote a blog post about why I should enter TP's game entertainment technology course, which unfortunately didn't realise because of.... sigh, you & I know. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading my blog anyway.

Quote of the daypost: All people are double sided. Don't judge.