Oh, I feel like watching dramas, but I never seem to catch on the wave. City Hunters, Material Queen? The Motivators/Negotiators seem nice too (Ch U 11.30pm weekday). Not really watching local productions now because of the lack of strong appeal. And this beautiful boy show, can't remember its exact title, every Sat, Ch U 9.30pm.

Right, the above 2 paragraphs were not the main focus of today's post (see title, if you haven't). There are 3 meanings behind the 2 words, are you able to figure it out? You may, by the end of this post.

So, applications for university admission are to open soon. Around Feb for NUS. In Primary school, I wanted to get into Temasek Secondary. I ended up in Ngee Ann Secondary because it was more convenient in terms of travelling. In Secondary school, I wanted to get into Temasek Junior College. I ended up in Temasek Polytechnic instead. My lack of effort, laziness, and stupidity to blame. I don't have a love for Temasek, it just gets to me somehow. Like how Korean stars get to their fans. Slightly similar. I've never got into the schools I originally intended. This time, would it be different, please?

So this NUS course I'm considering is an Arts & Social Sciences faculty - Philosophy. I have very contradicting thoughts about the course. Firstly, I prefer to express my ideas, not to analyze them. Analyzing is not my forte. But I can easily conjure some random nonsense and build a philosophy for it. It's all in my head, though. So, is the course going to strengthen my talent for philosophizing (if there's such a word), or is it going to destroy it totally because I surrendered to the master of critical thinking and analyzing?

Secondly, am I able to think critically? I get emotional and my thoughts flare up, very easily. I can think rationally, sometimes. But critically? I don't even like giving solid, critical comments on an everyday basis. I.e. I have no comments on how your hair looks, all I can say is that it's different. I have no comments on how you dress, whether it suits you or not. All I would say is "not what I'd wear". If my comments goes like "ugly" or similar, I'm making an emotional conclusion/opinion. The worst questions of all, "What do you think of ___?" & "Do you like it?". I usually would answer "Okay la, not bad." Any other reply may be a white lie in all honesty.

Third and lastly, am I still going to be able to express myself after graduation? I somehow doubt. I can barely express myself as clear as I could 3 years ago. I loved writing expositions and one-word essays. Now I've forgotten. I scared that as I learn more new things and become involve with the real world, the parallel universe in my head would extinct. I might be critical to all my imagination, and be defeated by my own head. Horrible, you know, fighting an internal mental war. Like the one I'm fighting right now. It's all bloody and messy and I can't think properly and it's 5am++ so Ima go sleep. (I wrote the bottom paragraph before the main body of my content.)

P.s. To save you the thinking, here are the 3 meanings. And yes, I write things with multiple hidden meanings all the time. Because I can, and I like it.

1. A train of thoughts ~Definition 15

2. Quick/fast/snippets of my current thoughts ~Definition 16

3. Most obvious: to express my thoughts