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Sunday, November 15, 2009

I don't think I'll ever make it up for being so flawed.

Either I stay in control,

Or I lose control - lose the part of me that's ALWAYS looking out for other people's feelings first. Maybe someone would step into my shoes one day and tell me how they feel, because I feel that I'm living my life for others.

Yet, when I lose control, it's when I hate myself the most, for hurting people I shouldn't.

Don't you hate life when it torments you like this? When it restricts you, when it controls how your happiness should be awarded, when it makes you think you are nothing but a failure, when you can't live up to your own life, when you feel like, hey, sometimes leaving this place isn't such a daunting idea after all.

But who knows if heaven really exists?



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Elaine
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